ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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