i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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