is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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