Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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