You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
