worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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