Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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