You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
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