My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
