You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
