so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
40s are totally the cure
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize