So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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