his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
