note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
