A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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