I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
