That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
