I smell stomach acid.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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