whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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