i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Can I color on your dick again?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
