her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
