I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
