Don't you send me to vm
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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