Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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