i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
