For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
