The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
