i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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