I wish I only lived at night.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
