I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
