playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
