he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
