i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
