wakey wakey hands off snakey
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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