She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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