Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
