found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
