I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
