im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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