I think im going to throw up on grandma
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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