you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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