omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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