It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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