There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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