People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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