im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
