I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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