Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
