I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
