waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
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My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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