You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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