Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
