Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
