I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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