the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
