Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
