She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's blow job season.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
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