i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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