Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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