Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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