Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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