i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
