i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
