I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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