I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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